It’s not often that I am speechless – in fact it’s almost unheard of, but as the year drew to a close and I tried to forget the impending onset of Christmas, the wind, the rain and the cold, we held the iCandy casting day looking for our elite iCandy Canes – our amazing promo girls. Phoenix had mentioned to me that she was looking for very special girls and as I arrived at the shoot and started sorting out paperwork, milk for coffee and deciding who was doing what and where; Emma slinked (yes, slinked) over to me and said ‘Hi!’ and smiled. It was one of those Hollywood slow mo moments where she flicked her hair back like a Timotei commercial, the sun (even though it was raining) catching each strand…. and then she got down to her lingerie and started hula hooping. I was speechless. I pulled Phoenix to one side and quietly said those 3 little words…. SHE is hired!

Emma! How are you doing?

I’m very well thank you, feeling fresh, new year, new start and all that jazz! (Laughs)

You’re an iCandy Cane – how does it feel?

Feels good you know, I’m so excited to see what iCandy has instore for us iCandy Canes!

What are you looking forward to most about being one of my elite?

Well I haven’t ever been part of something like this before, so all of it; it’s all new! Can’t wait to work with the other beauties – and my best friend Pheonix *hugs*

What did you think of the shoot? You looked like you really enjoyed yourself in the video! What’s you best memory of the day?

(Laughs) Yeah it was a fun day, ummm probably towards the end of the day working with Rachael that was pretty cool!

Yeah considering you and Rach had never met you gelled beautifully! So what got you into modelling?

My family, the have always said I should do modelling or be an actress so one day I went for a test shoot and turned out I loved it!

Where has your modelling led you?

Since then I have had some amazing opportunities, I have been China, representing England in the Beauty pageant Miss All Nations, this was an experience would never forget, it was for 3 weeks and involved a lot of fashion shows, public appearances, interviews and networking! Whilst I was there I was crowned “Miss Friendship” which was really sweet *blushes*

Now you seem to exude confidence from every inch of you where do you get that from?

(Laughs) Do I?? (Laughs) I have always been an extrovert sort of person ever since I was young, I never really got shy or embarrassed and have always been a bit of crazy one (Laughs)

You’ve done a few music videos what ones have you done and which was the most fun?

I have done a video for Talay ft Scorcher “Good As Gold” and Ndubz “Cold Shoulder”

Music Videos are always fun, longs days but you meet new people and all have a laugh! Haven’t got a favourite they were both fun and very different!

Now at the shoot the best word I can think of to describe you is ‘fluid’ you moved like a snake – how do you explain that?

Oh gossssh!! (Covers face) Umm I dunno really, I love music and I love to dance, maybe it’s the South American in me (Laughs)

Now you iCandy Cane name (after much deliberation) is Caramel Cane – what the thinking behind that?

Yeah only took me a month to think of a name (Laughs), well people seem to compliment me about my skin tone saying its golden/caramel colour and my hair is a caramel sorta colour so I thought…Caramel it is! (Laughs)

Now despite being a man, I hang around models and as such I have a black belt in shoes. I couldn’t help noticing that you rocked up to casting in Louboutins – that’s pretty flash footwear for just a casting! Are they your weakness?

Yes they are!! Love em! Gotta bag to match too but sssshh!! Got my eye on another pair, and might treat myself at the end of the month *blushes*

Ok so now a little about you – are you single?

(Laughs) *Sings* “I’m Already Taken” *Blushes*

What do you look for in a guy?

Someone who is respectful, caring, loyal supportive and has a good sense of humour!

Complete the sentences:

The things that make me happiest are… being around people that I love – and shopping obviously! (Laughs)

The naughtiest thing I’ve ever done is…Neeeeext!! (Laughs)

I never leave the house without…my phone, I’d be lost without it!

My special talent is…the box splits

Not a lot of people know this about me but… I have a phobia of wooden lolly-pop sticks! (Laughs and covers face)

Emma it’s been an honour to have you shoot for us and become an iCandy Cane – what’s your message to everyone out there?

Have fun, laugh a lot and do what makes you happy!

Keep an eye out for Emma and the rest of the iCandy Canes who’ll be popping up wherever they can this year – and at some very special iCandy Events and on iCandy TV!

Follow her on twitter on @EmmzyBaaby

By Gareth “Girls” Long

Follow iCandy on twitter NOW! @iCandyonline

Photography by James Burton &  Mr Overlord X

Make-up by Tamara Gitter & Valentina Serradi

iCandy Editor: Gareth Long

Hi boss! How’s it going?

(Laughs) Boss you know!? It’s going very well thanks! Exhausted but all good!

You are currently big chief supreme editor of iCandy, how do you feel about having such an important title and could you explain a little bit about what your job involves?

I feel very very lucky! I get messages on Facebook and tweets and when I meet people and they find out what I do they all say the same thing ‘I want your job!’ and my response is usually the same ‘Everyone wants my job!’ Being editor is a 2 edged sword though, I am responsible for a lot of what goes on at iCandy; from finding and recruiting writers, finding and interviewing models (such a chore), going to events and networking, meeting businesses in the industry, representing iCandy, receiving and in some cases re-writing content, reviewing products…the list goes on! People think I have legions of willing staff under me, cowering every time my coffee cup is empty but the reality is very different. (Laughs)

Aaaaw! I totally expected you to be the J. Jonah Jameson from Spiderman type. As editor, you spend a lot of time around semi naked models, how do you feel about this and have you had any particularly hilarious or enjoyable experiences?

(Sighs) It’s a cross I bear unfortunately, if only there was some way around it…are you crazy?? I’m a red-blooded male so naturally I love that aspect, but as the girls will tell you; I behave myself at all times – honestly! I think the most memorable experience has to be our recent casting and shoot day. I was in the company of my right hand girl Phoenix Taylor who’s iCandy’s Talent Co-ordinator and head ‘iCandy Cane’. Together we were looking for our promo girls; the iCandy Canes. We had some really great girls on the day but Emma and Rachael stood out in more ways than one as the video footage and upcoming features show. What has stuck in my mind from that day was when Emma ducked behind a screen to change and didn’t go very far behind it. When I happened to glance round, there was a peachy lil bum poking out of the side of the screen – naturally I did the gentlemanly thing and shouted ‘Oi Emma! Your ass is out!’

Classy! Haha! Are there any other perks of the job?

You think that’s not enough? Well, I’ve been to a few events and free bars are always welcomed! I’ve been lucky enough to go along to events like Reebok Presents and meet celebs, drink for free, attend Miss Flavour at Cafe de Paris, eat free nibbles, get the occasional free DVD or product and so on. It’s funny but a while ago if I said to a girl minutes after meeting her, ‘Send me some pictures of you in your underwear’ I got the answer ‘Piss off!’ Nowadays I get the answer ‘How many would you like?’ Of course it helps to hand over my business card first! Funny how things change innit?

I know it’s highly unlikely, but are there any down sides to your job? I’m sure seeing so many boobs could render a man insane…

The only downside is time. It is VERY hard work and yes it has its perks, but as the CEO of iCandy and I always say to each other; time is something other people have, breaks are rarely in excess of an evening. On average, combining all the things I do, I work about 19-20 hours a day and that’s no exaggeration. I do give myself time off but I do work hard. If anything, as well seeing a lot of hot girls, it does make girls think that I may not notice them in particular but when there’s someone I like personally, it’s hard to convince them that it’s me saying nice things to them and flirting and not the editorial me!

You’re a very busy man and also write for in-spireLS magazine as well as working full time for the floppy haired, adjective loving lothario that is Boris Johnson. How does this work fair in difference to working at ICandy?

Ahhh you have done your homework haven’t you! Yes it’s true, I also write correspondence for the Mayor of London but I’m not saying in what field as I have enough work without people trying to mail me and get in through the back door! That’s very different work as I have to tailor his letters to the way Boris speaks and his own style. They have to reflect his style whilst at the same time imparting policy and other information to MP’s, Assembly Members and the great and the good of London. In-SpireLS on the other hand is actually what led me to iCandy. It’s edited by a former Miss Flavour; Sasha Shantel who I started following on Twitter, she in turn led me to get in touch with the head honcho at iCandy who also happens to be head honcho of Flavour Magazine too. The rest they say is history. InSpire is my softer side – yes, I do have one, and that’s where I write my more philosophical views on life and things. iCandy is my mistress though.

Asides from all the lovely ladies that adorn your publication, you also have a large technological aspect to ICandy. How much fun is it getting to play around with and reviewing all the boys’ toys?

As bad as it sounds, I have an original X-box which I haven’t touched for about 5 years. I have my iPhone and my Blackberry neither of which are ever out of my hands and my netbook which pretty much goes everywhere with me. Laura King iCandy’s self-confessed geek does most of the techy stuff – I only get involved when she starts knocking Apple or Blackberry (she’s an Android user) and I dash to their defence. I like stupid gimmicky things, for example, I have a key ring with a red button and a green button on it which gives the right and wrong answer noises from Family Fortunes – that can keep me amused for hours.

Aaaaw! I want it! You know you can get a Law and Order one too! What’s in store for the future of ICandy? Do you have any big plans for 2012?

Oh! I’m glad you asked and in no way tipped you off to ask this! Well, iCandy is going to come bursting into 2012, bigger, better, with more features, more content, more gadgets, more giveaways, more parties and of course more girls! We may refresh the site early in the new year – still thinking about that at the mo. The iCandy Canes are going to take London by storm and I’m looking to make them pop up wherever they can. There’ll be more of our own shoots, the iCandy shop where you’ll be able to buy posters of your favourite iCandy girls and I certainly want to do an iCandy calendar for 2013. We’ll also be doing live music events; iCandy Rocks where we’ll be featuring the hottest female upcoming talent, and of course our annual model search and iCandy iCon events. I’m gonna be bloody knackered!

That all sounds so exciting! I must ask this, are you a single chap? How does your other half or former partners feel about your work?

Yes I bloody well am and it sucks! I am available and I am looking! A couple of my ex-girlfriends who aren’t in the industry know what I do and oddly aren’t surprised that I’m in charge of iCandy. They don’t necessarily approve but that says more about them than it does me and they can see I’m happy and they’re happy for me. It’s difficult I think for girls who aren’t in the industry to ‘get it’. When we’re all on a shoot, the models aren’t worried about stripping down to their underwear in front of me and I don’t go red and have to think of dead puppies if you get my drift – to us it’s just what we do. I think if I was to meet someone now, she’d have to be in the industry so she understands that work is work. I can see a dozen girls in their underwear but I get into one bed at the end of the day (eventually) and I expect my girl to be in it next to me – no one else. A girl who’s flirted with me for years heard that I was now doing iCandy and text me to ask what I was doing. I text back to say I was about to go to an event, she asked if there would be models there I said yes – she then called me and chatted rubbish for the best part of an hour simply because even though she wasn’t with me – she didn’t want anyone else to be either. We don’t speak so often anymore…

What’s your greatest ambition?

To make iCandy as successful as it possibly can be and that one day it will buy me a Jaguar… That and getting home to find Rihanna lying on my bed covered in baby oil…although that’s more of a fantasy than an ambition. I did make the mistake of telling my last girlfriend about my adoration for Riri…..then she casually said ‘So you fancy my cousin – great!’ Yep, turned out my Bajan babe was related to my ultimate crush. Awkward…

What makes you happy?

Loads of things make me happy, iCandy obviously, sunny days, chocolate, coffee, cigarettes, great sex (if I can cast my mind back that far) my friends, Strongbow, Brandy, good music – loads of things – I’m quite a happy guy really.

Aaaah! Strongbow. Good man.  What makes you unhappy?

Not so much unhappy but angry, is that allowed? I hate people that waste my time – I don’t have enough of it as it is so if someone lets me down or gives me the run around I get pissed off. I’m incredibly patient and it takes a LOT for me to lose it but when I do its mushroom cloud time. I went on a date once and the girl was an incredible 5 hours late! I wasn’t mad even though we had to skip straight to the main course and had waiters hovering over us the whole time looking at their watches – but I was in good company (eventually) and we ended up together for a while – she was always late. I am fastidious with time and it drove me mad – but all she had to do was smile on arrival and say ‘I’m sooooooo sorry!’ and I would just melt, smile back and say ‘It’s ok babes’. I may have had the nickname ‘the pitbull’ in my time but I’m a bit of an Andrex puppy to the right people.

What’s your biggest turn on?

Hmmm that’s tricky. In women the things I look for are a great bum, nice eyes and good shoulders. I love strong women – not in strength but in spirit. A girl who’s determined, focussed and driven is so sexy to me – if she’s willing to go out there and do her thing, then that’s all good with me and I’ll support her as much as I can. In terms of what gets me going; then it’s socks – God alone knows why, but a girl in nothing but her socks has me enslaved.

I’m actually with you on the sexiness of socks, especially big woolly ones. What’s your biggest turn off?

Selfishness. Someone that’s very self-centred is rarely going to get on my good side. If I think you’re a jumped up tosser I have no problem telling you to your face – and do. Can’t stand lies, deceit and falseness – be yourself and if you want me to like you – be you! Loads of things irritate me, in women though the biggest turn off has to be bad make-up. My tip? Less is more. That and bad spelling and grammar.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my pestering questions. Do you have a message for our readers?

Thank you for your continued support! Tell your friends about us, keep visiting the site, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, let me know what you like, what you want more of, what you want less of, come to our events and just love us! I’m determined that 2012 is going to be a great year for iCandy so please keep clicking on the page and see what we do!

Carmin is an internationally published adult/erotica model based in the UK. Carmin’s work can be seen across various adult websites and men’s magazines as well as several fine art photography books such as The Mammoth Book of New Erotic Photography and Hudson Manilla’s ONE. Her first book “CARMIN” by Hudson Manilla was released on 1 November. As well as modelling, Carmin is also a published author and editor of Manifesto, a high fashion/erotica publication.

Check out her features and ask her questions but firstly – let’s find out a little bit about the lady herself.

Hi Carmin, welcome to the iCandy team! How’s things?

Thanks very much for the warm welcome! Things are awesome at the mo and I’m so happy to be part of your sexy team!

You’ve very graciously agreed to join the team – how are you feeling about that and what can we expect from you?

I’m chuffed to bits and feel very privileged. You can expect lots of dirty chat, sex advice and an exploration into the kinkier side of sex.

You’re already published of course and you also edit Manifesto Magazine, tell us a little bit about that and your other writing.

Manifesto is a dream! I get to do a lot of research into the darkest, most kinkiest side to the fetish world and share it with our readers. I also write fiction, mainly short stories, that involve a lot of crime and esoterica.

You also model and you do some quite specialist stuff. What’s the strangest shoot you’ve done or been asked to do?

One of the oddest was being chained up in a cage and hung from the ceiling of a manor house, while playing with myself and chain smoking. I also did a custard shoot where I was completely immersed in the stuff, although it was Tesco value custard out of a carton so it was cold and totally synthetic. I’ve not eaten the stuff since. I’ve also been asked to do some quite terrible stuff like scat (2 girls and a cup – yes that) and having sex with a dog. I obviously declined. Oh and I was asked to wear nothing but a clown mask and pee on the floor of an insane asylum. Apart from that just the usual, BDSM, foot worship, Victorian dental gag, Electro Convulsive Therapy etc…

Just the usual??? Is there anything you simply wouldn’t consider?

Scat, bestiality and anything involving being cold. I hate being cold.

You have explored a lot of fetish’s – are there any that have completely freaked you out?

Hmmmmm….Not many. Although a while back I was unfortunate enough to watch a video called ‘The Pain Olympics’ where this woman had clamps on either side of her pussy. Wasps were driven inside her and as the clamps moved they sort of bellowed out of her. This was accompanied by a punk/ska rendition of Destiny’s Child – ‘I’m a Survivor’. Weird stuff. Had that song in my head for days.

Yow!!! I don’t even have that part of anatomy and that’s even making ME wince! The photographer Hudson Manilla has produced not one, but two entire books of shots of you simply entitled ‘One’ and ‘Carmin’ how does it feel to have an entire book of you published?

It’s very bewildering. Although I’m ecstatic, I feel quite astonished and I’m not too sure what I did to deserve such an accolade.

Are you single?

I’m happily married to a ginger dude with a magnificent flaming beard. That’s probably my own particular fetish, ginger men. As well as smoking.

How does your partner feel about some aspects of your work?

He’s very liberal and doesn’t care too much. We believe that everyone should be allowed to do whatever they please. Strict rules and restrictions don’t make for a happy marriage. He’s very understanding of my work and encourages me in whatever fanciful ideas I have. I was a lapdancer when we met so he knew what I was like from the start.

Complete the sentences: 2012 is going to be….

The year the robot apocalypse will begin.

The things that make me most happy are…

Pudding, cuddles, history documentaries, cigarettes and tea.

The things that irritate me most are…

Rude, judgemental, obnoxious, stupid people. And getting crumbs in bed.

My ambition is to…

Win a Pulitzer Prize.

My biggest turn on is…

Beards and general machismo.

Carmin once again, welcome to iCandy! What’s your message for everyone out there?

Do whatever makes you happy and if it doesn’t make you happy ask me why by mailing me at Carmin@icandy-online.com and I’ll answer the questions you’ve been too afraid to ask!

1.Kim Kardashian – Kim Kardashian in nothing of Playboy cover.

2.Christina Aguilera – Christina Aguilera in nothing of CQ cover.

3.Lady Gaga – Lady Gaga expressed herself and her body in the September 2010 edition of Vanity Fair.

4.Rihanna – Rihanna revealed her naughty side in a topless shoot for the January 2010 edition of GQ.

5.Ashley Tisdale – Ashley Tisdale proved she is not as young as she looks in the May 2011 issue of Allure Magazine.

6.Angelina Jolie – Angelina Jolie looked sexy and sophisticated in nothing but a silky sheet in the July 2007 issue of Esquire Magazine.

7.Miranda Kerr – Miranda Kerr wasn’t afraid to show her flawless figure in February 2010 for a flirty photo shoot with GQ.

8.Eva Longoria – Eva Longoria showed her wild sexy body.

9.Kara Dioguardi – Kara Dioguardi exposed her svelte figure in the May 2010 issue of Allure Magazine.

10.Emma Watson – Emma Watson in bikini lingerie.

11.Jennifer Aniston – Jennifer Aniston sizzled in nothing but a tie in the January 2009 edition of GQ.

12.Natalie Portman

13.Eva Mendes – Eva Mendes flaunted her killer curves!

14.Lindsay Lohan – Lindsay lohan undressed.

15.Keri Hilson – Keri Hilson wasn’t afraid to bare it all in the May 2011 issue of Allure Magazine.

16.Jessica Alba – Jessica Alba is so hot and sexy in nothing!

17.Heidi Klum – Heidi Klum showed off her supermodel body in the July 2010 edition of GQ.

18.Britney spears – Britney spears flaunted her killer curves!

19.Bridget Moynahan – Bridget Moynahan flaunted her curves in the May 2011 issue of Allure Magazine.

20.Katy Perry – Katy Perry showed of her “California Gurls” in the August 2010 edition of Esquire UK.

21.Jennifer Lopez – Jennifer Lopez was called the most beautiful woman!

22.Kaley Cuoco – The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco looked stunning stripped down in the May 2011 issue of Allure Magazine.

23.Paris Hilton – So wild!

24.Halle Berry

25.Megan Fox

26.Jessica Biel – Jessica Biel broke away from her Seventh Heaven image with a provocative shoot for the March 2000 issue of Gear Magazine.

27.Scarlett Johansson – Scarlett Johansson stunned with her curves.

28.Andrea Garcia – Andrea Garcia in all of her naughty hotness.

29.Sara Jean Underwood

30.Kemp Muhl – Kemp Muhl for Sam Edelman S/S 2011.

So we’re going to celebrate in the only way we know how, by inventing our own award for the best gadget web site online. We want to hear from our readers about where they buy their gadgets. Then we can send an iCandy model, in her best fancy dress of course, to award your favourite website a big shiny iCandy Gadget Website 2011 sticker and a kiss.

The prizes above were kindly donated as an example of some of the great things you can get this Halloween to liven up your fancy dress party, regardless of where you hold it. Thanks go to Firebox.com, MobileFun.co.uk and Gizoo.co.uk.

Don’t worry about what the website sells or advertises, lifestyle gadgets, technology gadgets or just fun gadgets, as long as they can provide the product they’re advertising.

Email the address you want your gadgets sent to, your name, and your favourite gadget website to laura@icandy-online.com BEFORE October 30^th so we can announce the winner on Halloween.

This is the second year of London Cocktail Week and you will find me at a bar in London, giving away iCandy – of the sugary, edible kind – in bars all around the capital from today until Sunday.

If I needed a reason to tour bars and learn to make cocktails then almighty Diffords Guide has provided one by listing a hundred bars that have offered to sell their signature cocktails for £4 and organised a long list of events that give everyone an excuse to leave work and down a Horny Bull for lunch instead. All you need is a wristband from their website.

Since I insist everyone joins me I’ve made Google Maps of all the bars and bus tours that the week offers and it should be pretty easy to find me as I will probably be the only one working, and therefore only slightly drunk. Below are some of the ticketed events I would recommend, along with the free events.

Cocktails of London – Selfridges, The Wine Shop / 7th/ 16:00 – 18:00

“Wayne Collins has regularly appeared on several well known food television programmes including 4 year stint on Great Food Live and currently presents drinks weekly on BBC’s Something for the Weekend. He presents extensively at various trade exhibitions around the World. Also consults on bespoke cocktail styling for many high profile events such as the BAFTAS, film premiers, fashion shows & art exhibitions.”

Wayne is walking us through the history of the London cocktail scene, including drinks so you fully appreciate the educational aspects. Seriously though…cocktail mixing is an art and a skill and the chance to study under one of the most applauded bartenders in the world is not something to miss.

http://worldsbestbartenders.net

RumFest – Kensington Olympia 2 / 15 – 16 October / 12:00 – 18:00

“2011 marks the fifth anniversary of UK RumFest, the world’s biggest festival dedicated to celebrating rum and sugarcane spirits. To honour this landmark occasion UK RumFest has added a brand new Tropical Food Market to its already action-packed weekend of salsa dancing, cocktail sampling, live music, masterclasses and seminars.”

A chance to win a holiday to the Caribbean and try over 400 rums is probably something everyone will enjoy. Rum is one of those drinks that started in a part of the world renowned for relaxing, enjoying life, and making the most of what you’re given, which makes it almost unanimously popular. Of course if you cannot wait until next weekend there’s always…

http://rumfest.co.uk/

Rum Trail – Trailer Happiness / 9 October / 18:00 – 21:00

“A walking tour of five bars within the Notting Hill area, all different in style, each serving a different delicious Havana Club cocktail. Guests will explore specific eras of Havana’s classic cocktail culture – learning about the bars, bartenders, cocktails and customers of the age.”

The Liquorists are offering a tour of bars offering Havana Club rums, with a party at the final venue. They’re running two tours on Sunday and I dare you to frown, or walk in a straight line, at the end of it.

http://www.wearetheliquorists.com/

Cuervo Masterclass – ICEBAR LONDON / 10th & 12th / 17:00 – 17:45

“ICEBAR LONDON is the UK’s only permanent bar made of ice and is kept at minus 5 degrees all year round. Everything inside is made out of crystal clear ice harvested especially from the frozen Torne River in Jukkasjarvi, Northern Sweden. ICEBAR LONDON is operated in 40 minute time slots and you will be given a designer thermal cape with a hood to keep you warm during your visit.”

Cuervo Platino Mixology with Rhys Love already sounds delicious and I have to admit a slight weakness to Tequila, mostly because it goes to the heads of men much quicker than women. It’s fun watching boy stumble around while we girls stand at the bar and order another bottle. Yes, you can consider that a challenge.

http://www.belowzerolondon.com

Zenna Cocktail Classes –  Zenna Bar / 11th – 15th / 17:00 – 19:00

“Learn how to make incredible cocktails from London’s best mixologist Dan Thomson. Bookings welcome from 5 – 40 individuals. A great day out for friends or colleagues. Cocktail masterclasses last between 2-4 hours and cover a range of different methods of creating a cocktail, including presentation, aroma, taste, and garnishes. You will then have several opportunities to not only create classic cocktails for yourself, but also come up with your own creation. Both of which will be yours to finish.”

They had me at ‘goodie bag’ but I’d have gone for Dan Thomson’s two hour class about the tricks of the trade and popular personalities. Tuesday is El Jimador Tequila, Wednesday is Stolichnaya Vodka, Thursday is Chairmans Reserve Rum, Friday is Bombay Sapphire Gin and – my favourite – Saturday is Makers Mark Whiskey. Presentation, aroma, taste, and garnishes are very important and not just for cocktails, so find a space and book a ticket…

http://www.zenna-bar.co.uk

Ready Steady Cocktail – Liberty Lounge / 7th, 8th, 12th, 15th & 16th / 14.30 – 16.30 & 19.30 – 21.30

“Interactive cocktail games involve the whole crowd, who learn new skills, whilst bonding over a few professionally made cocktails along the way. Ideal for promoting a fun team working atmosphere, your guests will be treated to a sensory experience and take home bartending skills to entertain their own guests!”

I have no idea how to make cocktails but that doesn’t matter because I love to drink them. Liberty Lounge don’t just run these classes, they operate a mobile bar that takes them around the country and are planning to go global later in the year. So get into a class because they’re so popular that the celebrities have booked them all. Four cocktails and Moroccan tapas say ‘See you on Sunday’.

http://www.readysteadycocktail.com/

So if a Full Monty and a Buttery Nipple with a Climax to follow is your idea of a fun evening, then come find something to drink at London Cocktail Week.

Follow online at @gadgetsicandy and get a wristband at http://www.diffordsguide.com/london-cocktail-week

By Laura iGadgets

PLEASE drink responsibly.

Mark Zuckerberg is the most followed man on G+, even as everyone says he’s going down and he doesn’t even know it.

But G+ works on a very different level to Facebook and works more like Twitter, letting people stick you in circles without your permission, and making it easy to find people.

The real test comes when they open it to everyone. I mean, if it slows Google just during beta testing then what’s gonna happen when they take it to the masses?

Personally, I’m sitting here waiting for my invite (clearly it got lost on the way to my inbox) and wondering what the next step in the evolution of social networking is going to offer)…

I don’t think Facebook is going anywhere but ask me again in three years, OK?

To sign up for the Google Project: https://plus.google.com/

By Laura King

Of course even the best laid plans are only as foolproof as the brains behind them, and these brains are more entertaining than murderous. For extra entertainment value there’s veteran actor Donald Sutherland and, Modern Family, Julie Bowen.

If you want to watch Horrible Bosses then head to a cinema on or after the 22nd of July.

Horrible Bosses Trailer

Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/HorribleBossesUK

Official Site: www.horriblebossesmovie.co.uk

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HorribleBoss

Release date: 22 July 2011

By Laura King

Hi Emma, How’s it going? Welcome back to iCandy! What have you been up to?
Hi Gaz, I’ve been working a lot lately doing loads of shoots and things because I’m saving as many pennies as I can! I’m going to be spending the remainder of July in the South of France and Spain to top up my tan!

Wow! sounds good for some! You’ve got very striking eyes! Are you impressed that I noticed them and not errrr certain other things?
(laughs) Thank you, I am indeed! You must be a true gentleman (laughs)

Yeah I guess so – they wanted me to be the next Pope but I chose to Edit the Girls section of iCandy instead! Your pics are great by the way and you’ve got you own website, hows that going? – what’s on that? (winks)
(laughs) Thanks I’m always trying to improve of course, but I’m very happy with my latest shoots. My Site can be found at: www.emmalouisetrott.com and it has all the topless pics that are too naughty for facebook (giggles) as well as all my updates about my work and publications.

Too naughty for Facebook huh? Interesting…. You’re no stranger to mags and papers, you must get guys hitting on you a lot, does that get boring? What’s a guy got to do to impress you and what’s the lamest chat up line you’ve ever had?
Ermm yeah I guess so, (laughs), its never boring though I like to see and hear peoples different approaches at pulling! I’m a bit of a people watcher to be honest! I love peoples individuality and I love talking to people so I’m happy to chat away! (laughs). To impress me, you would just need to be yourself and never be too much of a player or know it all. I never ever go for looks I’m 100% about personality and if your caring, kind and funny your in! (Laughs)

You don’t go for looks!?! Hmmm Caring kind and funny huh….I once rescued a drowning bee from a puddle and then the thing stung me! Hows that for caring kind and funny??? What’s the strangest thing that’s happened or you’ve been asked to do on a shoot?
I’ve never been asked to anything strange as I say what I’m happy and not happy to do before I go to a shoot so I never get into those awkward situations, everything is clear from the word go. I’m always asked to go nude but I’m not interested or ready for anything like that at this point in my career. I do get strange messages about fetish modeling but I just politely reply and say that I don’t undertake shoots in that style (laughs)

Fetish modelling!? Freaky!! So when you get some time to yourself what do you like to do to chill out?
I’ just like everyone really I’m a girly girl so I like to shop, watch TV, listen to music, go horse riding and I’m a bit of a gamer too.

So you like a good ride do you? It’s been ages since I’ve been in the saddle. You’re a Brighton Belle, Brighton is known for being a bit wild. Having friends that live down there and been out down there I know that’s true! – Are you a bit of a wild chick?
I love to go out but I’m sensible (laughs), I don’t actually drink alcohol; I’m completely t-total. But I still go out with my friends until the early hours of the morning dancing and having fun.

Ah! So you’re the driver and person that reminds everyone the next day EXACTLY what they got up to! You could make a few quid out of that! Everyone’s got a dirty or guilty secret or pleasure – what’s yours?
Ermm probaly the amount of rubbish food I eat! (laughs), most people don’t know as I look and dress so girly but I’m actually totally rock chick at heart! It’s all I listen too. My car is full of old and new rock music from Meatloaf, Guns n Roses. Dire Straits to Bullet from my Valentine etc… I love music with amazing Guitar solos.

I hear you. My favourite riff is Slade’s ‘Come on Feel the Noise’ – that’s a classic! What’s in the pipeline for you? What projects have you got lined up?
I have lots of shoots lined up after my holiday including one with the amazing Joby Rawlins. I also join a Ghost hunting Glamour Model team in November where our findings will be in a paranormal magazine every month!

So you’re not easily spooked then! We’ll keep an eye on your website for details about that! Well Emma, It’s been great to have you feature and show yourself off – I’m sure we’ll be happy to have you back and Tweeting for us! Have you got anything to say to everyone out there in iCandyland?
Thanks for having me I would love to come back soon!!! I would like to say thanks for the lovely messages from the iCandy fans when I was running the fan page and thanks for joining my facebook fan page (Emma-Louise Trott official) and keeping in touch with me. Hopefully iCandy will have me back in for a super sexy shoot soon and I can share all the new pics with you all when I’m next running the page! Lots of love to everyone in iCandyland (blows kiss)

Interview by Gareth “Girls” Long

Check out Emma’s website… www.emmalouisetrott.com

Follow iCandy on twitter NOW! @iCandyonline

Hi Cassie, Welcome back to iCandy! We last saw you grace our page in September last year what have you been up to since then?
Well hello (winks) It’s great to be back! I’ve been keeping myself busy working, doing more promotions work for some events like British Superbikes and just loadsa different shoots since then, adding loads of variety to my portfolio and trying new things!

Sounds like you’ve been busy then! You’ve launched your own website since we last met – what was it like seeing something like that come together?
It was kinda surreal, exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, but it’s now out there and live and it seems to be getting a lot of hits! I’ve had lots of really positive feedback so it’s thumbs up right now! (grins) you can catch it at www.cassiej.co.uk check it out and keep up to date with my latest shoots and even buy your choice of picture for a poster, and of course get in touch with me – purely professionally of course! (laughs).

Oh of course I mean I’m sure no-one would get in tough with you for flirtatious reasons *coughs* When you last featured you told us that you had your own pole at your place – I like poles! Have you still got it? is that how you manage to stay in such a lovely shape? *winks*
I do indeed! (laughs) I don’t get much time on it at the moment though, so I’m at the gym for my workouts now. I try and use my home to chill out, but I keep it there for the odd spin!! (sticks tongue out and laughs)

So the new pics – they’re pretty sensational! What’s going through your mind when you’re on a shoot?
Ahhh thank you! That’s the kind of reaction I’m going for right now (grins) When I’m on a shoot I try to be as professional as I can but still having a lot of fun! I really don’t think about anything and just concentrate on the poses and facial expressions that will come out in the end results. I really appreciate my boyfriend’s opinion on my work so I always push myself to look extra…whats the word….spicy!! (winks)

Lucky guy!! So he gets the pole treatment and gets first look at your shoots! I think we’re all pretty jealous of him right now! You have a day job in an office as well though, before you met him did you have any office flings??
Yeah I’m still in the office at the moment, but I’m hoping now that things are getting good I’ll be getting busier with my modelling and the website, so I’m hoping the office routine will all change soon!…. I actually haven’t had an office fling! I’m a good girl at heart (laughs) See my halo??

Hmmm I’m not sure that the laugh goes with the halo Cassie! You must get guys hitting on you a lot though, does that bother you? What do you look for in a guy?
It doesn’t bother me, bless them! (laughs) I’m quite happy with my boyfriend and he knows that. I find it flattering that I get the attention really! But I have to say I do regularly get messages and comments through Facebook and random adds on the old BB messenger, anyone that gets a little bit too much though gets swiftly blocked…so anyone on my list, be warned!! (laughs)

Duly noted! You’re also a mummy and a very yummy one at that I might add – you must be very focused to do so much; What’s your driving passion?
Awww that’s 3 years of gym work outs for you!! (laughs) My daughter is my main motivation and drive for the better things in life, I could easily give up everything and spend every waking minute with her, but I’d rather work and do as much as I can to give her the finer things in life. I never want her to go without. It can get tough and I get pretty busy most weeks but I have my weekends of no shoots so I can devote quality time to her. As much as I love what I do, its always good to take a time out even if it is only for a couple days.

You sound like you have a very hectic life indeed! So when you do get some time to yourself what do you like to do to chill out?
I spend time with my daughter, boyfriend, see my closest friends, my family, shopping trips, meals out and a cinema trip. You know how it goes and then again the days where you just do sweeeeeet F.A also known as Sundays! (laughs)

Ah yes Sunday’s I’m in church most Sundays *coughs* And if you believe that can I interest you in some invisible magic beans too? Everyone’s got a dirty or guilty secret or pleasure – what’s yours?
(laughs) No you won’t catch me that easily! A secret is a secret! That would be telling (winks)

Ohhhh very mysterious – my mind is racing as to what it could be! What’s your current goal and where do you want to be in 10 years? What’s coming up for you?
Right now I really want to get myself out there, get more recognition and more modelling work of course! I’m in talks with a new clothing line that’s launching soon, and they want me to be “the face” (laughs). It’ll be starting in Switzerland and then hopefully they are going to branch out and come to the UK. It’s real exciting stuff so I will keep you posted on that!!

Well I certainly hope you will! Good luck with that! You’ll have to bring us back a cuckoo clock for the office! Cassie, It’s been great to have you back, have you got anything to say to everyone out there in iCandyland?
It’s been so nice being back!! Thanks for having me AGAIN (grins) maybe I’ll be back soon to give you another update – if you’ll have me? And please guys, check out my website www.cassiej.co.uk look through my portfolio, browse through my shop and even get in touch with me! I love to get everyone’s feedback whether it’s about my work, my site or even to work with me (smiles)

Interview by Gareth “Girls” Long

Check out Cassie’s new website of amazing pics… http://www.cassiej.co.uk/

Follow iCandy on twitter NOW! @iCandyonline

You’ve really got a lot going on at the moment haven’t you? You’re in music videos, you present awards, you’re London’s official firegirl and you’re about to be on ‘The Batchelor’ where you’re going to be competing for Gavin Henson’s affections; which one of all these things are you most excited about?
Yeah I have been really busy of late. I gave up working in the corporate world as a Business Manager to concentrate on the things I love to do. I get to travel a lot with work, so getting to meet different people, cultures, excites me. I was approached to be on the UK’s first ‘The Bachelor’ show which will be on Channel 5 and I am really nervous about watching it myself as it isn’t normally something I would do but I just saw it as a trip away, bit of fun, and if I get exposure from doing it then that would be great! The US version is the most watched show in the States, and as I loved watching it, I thought it would be good to try it out over here. None of us girls knew who the bachelor would be until the ‘greeting night’ so you will have to watch and find out how I reacted to it being Gavin!

Do you think you’d make a good WAG if you won? Do you like rugby?
I know nothing about rugby, and nor do I aspire to be a WAG! (laughs)

(laughs) Gavin Henson is Welsh (like me!) Do you like the Welsh accent? (raises eyebrows suggestively and grins) cos, you know..(coughs)..if it doesn’t work out I’m not seeing anyone at the moment…
(laughs) You are such a flirt!! I love the Welsh accent it has a really nice softness about it…

Really!?! I sing as well you know! You should hear my Tom Jones karaoke sometime! Gavin was of course married to Charlotte Church who can be a bit feisty – would her being his ex and mum to his kids be a bit off-putting?
I don’t really know much about Gavin but Charlotte seems to be fun, I’ve watched her talk show and she’s a really good presenter, very funny. Someone who has been married or has kids isn’t really my idea of being an eligible bachelor to be honest but who knows?

With all the scandals coming out at the moment Colleen & Wayne, Cheryl & Ashley, Ryan Giggs & pretty much any woman in a mile radius of him, and so many others, do you think you could keep Gavin in check? How would you do it? – Pretty easily I’m going to say with your looks!
(laughs) Why thank you Mr Charming!! It’s sad hearing about those scandals as so many people get hurt in the process, you can only hope your partner doesn’t stray elsewhere. Looks aren’t enough to keep a relationship together, it takes a lot of trust, respect and determination to keep it strong, building a strong foundation with the right person is far more important than the aesthetics.

That’s so true, I suppose if you don’t win or you just don’t click you’ve always got all those firemen to fall back on? What’s it feel like to be London’s official Firegirl?
(laughs) Firemen are amazing people, they not only look good in uniform but are real life heroes. I was honoured to be a firegirl for a big campaign I did recently in Vienna, I was chosen to represent London, not only did I get to dress as firegirl and use all the equipment at the fire station there, but it was more about meeting these fire-fighters who risked their lives to help others. I got to see the guys in action mid-shoot as the sirens went off, it was incredible to watch!

A lot of women go gaga over firemen but what’s all that about?? Every time we’ve had an alarm at our building all the firemen that turn up are about 40!
(laughs) I met young and old fire-fighters whilst in Vienna! However they all look great in uniform, it’s that heroism figure that is symbolic to being a firefighter which drives most women crazy!

Yeah? I saved a hedgehog from a fox once you know! Does that count as heroism??? But anyway, you’ve got a lot of music connections too though haven’t you; presenting the Urban Music Awards and the Download Music Awards as well as being in a few music videos too including being one of the first UK models as a the lead in a US mainstream video for B.O.B’s ‘Magic’ You’ve worked with Dizzee Rascal in his video for ‘Dirtee Disco’ Do you have anything coming out soon that we should look out for? Were they all good to work with? Would you ever branch out into a singing career?
I have been lucky to be in some amazing videos, I absolutely loved filming the B.O.B’s ‘Magic’ video which was shot in L.A and although I had to eat cereal from a sink ten million times, it was fun and the production over in the States is huge, they really go all out to deliver something grand. Dizzee Rascal was great to work with, he actually chose the models who feature in the video himself, so it was nice to have been chosen by the man himself and being part of a funny video. I am currently in Alex Metric featuring Ian Brown from the Stone Roses new dance track ‘Open Your Eyes’ I got to play ‘Robofem’ which is the robots girlfriend, the director Peter Serafinowicz acted and directed the video, it was a joy to see this incredible man at work, very inspirational.

The Urban Music Awards has been by far the best award show that I have presented, it was entertaining, fast paced and the audience kept me on my toes the whole time- if you can handle the urban crowd you can more or less handle any other! It’s funny that you asked whether I can sing because I recently met with R Kelly and the first thing he said to me was “if you can sing I will sign you up right now” I was totally blown away but the only person that has heard me sing is myself, in the shower!! (Laughs)

Sorry I was miles away there… You said ’shower’ and I felt a little faint… So, sportsmen, firemen or musicians? – out of all of them who would you go for first, do you go for creativity such as a budding iCandy writer (winks) or someone a bit more rugged?
I’m sure you are just delightful (laughs) I tend to go for more of the intellect as opposed to the rugged, I like to learn new things as I am very inquisitive by nature, so someone that couldn’t teach me a thing or two would most likely bore me! Having said that I always believe it is the connection first and foremost, I instantly know whether I am attracted to someone by the get go, the connection has to be right

You like to learn things? Hmmm… Did you know that there’s a species of mosquito that lives on the Tube network that’s found nowhere else on earth? That’s true that is! When you’re not busy working and doing all these incredible things, what do you like to do to relax?
I love spending time with my beautiful baby nephew Harley, he really makes me smile. I enjoy hanging out with friends and going to wacky fun places like the zoo and M&M world! I also love to read and I’m currently reading ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho- very inspiring read

M&M World? Wow! You really are getting more perfect! You’ve travelled a lot too – where’s the most amazing place you’ve been to?
I have travelled to many amazing places with work, the most culturally different place I have visited was when I got to represent England in The World Super Model competition held in Taiwan, the food was so different and interesting, the people are so hospitable. I love LA and tend to go there every so often. I was invited to the playboy mansion last year for their summer party and have been invited this year too, so I’m really looking forward to going again, it is everything you imagine it to be and more!!

You’re going to the Playboy Summer party?? Damn!! Do you need an escort? I mean, C’mon apart from countless children and probably a heart condition, what’s Heff got that I haven’t??? It’s been an absolute pleasure Tabby but from all of us in iCandyland; best of luck with all your projects and of course with ‘The Batchelor’, I’ll be watching and secretly hoping you don’t fancy him at all! Before we go though, do you have anything to say to everyone out there?
Thank you for having me! Make sure you tune in! I have been sent a few scripts to read, so I am busy with that at the moment, I also have my swimwear designs being launched soon. Most importantly I am an ambassador for The Damilola Taylor Trust, I will be doing a charity skydive in August to raise awareness and money for the charity, please follow me on Twitter (@tabbybrown) for more info on how you can help! Thanks Gaz!

Interview by Gareth “Girls” Long

Why not click like on Tabby’s fan page… www.facebook.com/OfficialTabbyBrown

Follow iCandy on twitter NOW! @iCandyonline

That’s quite a big step deciding to jack in your job and take a different direction! Were your family happy that you decided to do that?
Yeah they’re really supportive of me, they knew I wasn’t happy and they could see that and they can see that I’m really happy now – they’ve been great and I couldn’t ask them for anything more than supporting me in my choices. I love my family!

Cool! So what have you been up to recently then?
Partying! I’m a total party girl! I guess that’s why I loved doing the promotions work really, I’ve recently come back from holiday too in Marbella which was great and topped up my tan! But I’ve done a few shoots, I’m really trying to build my portfolio up at the moment and get myself out there and see where it goes!

So where would you like it to go then
Anywhere! I’d love to do adverts or anywhere my modelling career takes me really! I’m pretty open to any direction it could go in, it’s like its a whole new adventure and each day could be different! I hate routine! [laughs].

Well I’m sure with your pics you’ll have a lot of offers! You must get guys hitting on you quite a bit though don’t you?
Actually they don’t! [laughing]! When I go out I go out in quite a big group with my girls and I think a lot of guys are intimidated by us! We can be quite wild! It would be a very confident guy to approach my group and speak to me! Ha ha! But I like that – I like a guy with confidence!

So you like a confident guy huh? What else do you look for in a guy?
Hmm well, I’m quite typical really – I love a tall dark and handsome man ha ha! But at the moment I think my perfect guy is Ryan from Eastenders – he’s lovely!

You’ve got quite a Lady Gaga look going on – is she a bit of an influence?
NO! I’ve had my hair like this for 7 years – long before she came on the scene!

Ooooo kay! So I’m guessing you get kind of tired being compared to her?
Oh I get it all the time! ‘You look like Lady Gaga you know!’ ‘Hey Lady Gaga is here!’ Gimme a break! I’ve had long blonde hair for ages and if anything she copied me! [laughs] I don’t let it bother me though – I know who I am.

Ha ha! OK! So what’s you’re guilty secret?
I’m ashamed to say junk food – I eat it all the time – I just love it! I love grabbing a burger or whatever!

You must have to work out a lot though to compensate and stay looking so good?
Err… I’d like to yes but I haven’t been to the gym for months! I should really go I know but I just don’t get round to it! [laughs]

Seriously!? Wow! that’s quite lucky! What’s your favourite part of your body?
[Laughs] My boobs! I look after them very well and I saved hard to get them so I’m quite proud of myself for doing that but I absolutely love them, they’re fantastic!

No arguments here Chloe! Yes they’re quite something! *cough* err… sorry where was I? Oh yeah! So what have you got coming up that we should look out for?
Well, I’m looking into working for Bluebird TV during the day times, and I’m giving a lot of thought about doing that – it could be fun!

Wow! So you wouldn’t find that intimidating at all? Do you think that some of the things that blokes could be saying to you might shock you?
[Laughing] Nah! I’m not easily intimidated! I’m very confident and outgoing – nothing shocks me and believe me I’ve seen a lot!

Well I’ll certainly take your word for it Chloe and we’ll keep an eye out for you in the future!

Interview by Gareth “Girls” Long

You can follow Chloe on twitter @chloetheunissen

Photography courtesy of Denis Abbonato-Bei or on twitter @dabbonatophoto

Wild girls? Hot tub? The ultimate dream of a man was made reality in iCandy’s crazy hot tub party with Starr Parties! Studio Valbonne was the place to be; the bikini’s were out, the bubbly was flowing and the base was pumping! For those who couldn’t make it, not to worry, we have rounded up the best pics of the night to give you a taste of how events unfolded.

iCandy Hot Tub party inconjunction with www.starrparties.co.uk

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Photography by Jordan Roach

Well it’s 2011 now, and Mortal Kombat is back with a brand new game that promises to be both refreshing and familiar. It was hard to trust again, but this time Mortal Kombat has genuinely cleaned itself up. This is a return to the classic MK, with combat based on special moves, the triumphant return to a 2D fighting system, and blood by the gallon. Basically, this is everything we’ve been requesting for years now.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way first, this game is deliciously violent. I normally like to think I’m above such things as enjoying a game based on the gore, but there is an undeniable catharsis to the amount of carnage dished out here. Every character has detailed and disturbing damage models, so even when you win you look like you’re dying, but the real stars are the new X-Ray Moves. Once per round or so you can initiate a technique so devastating that the developers felt the need to zoom in and show you your opponent’s skeleton breaking. These are many and varied and oh so satisfying, and add a surprising layer to the fighting. Before we move on to the fight mechanics though, we need to mention the fatalities. A staple of the MK franchise, and something of a disappointment in the last two games, fatalities are back with a vengeance. From the brutal to the ridiculous, this is a long overdue return to form for the series with hilarious and horrific results. With the fatalities tutorial system, pulling these beauties off is easier than ever, and the moves themselves are a real mixed bag. While most will make you cringe, and some will make you laugh, Noob Saibot’s first fatality will actually make you cry out at how painful it looks.

The game-play isn’t going to surprise anyone familiar with the series’ roots, but that’s sort of the point. Taking notes from Capcoms amazingly successful Street Fighter 4, Mortal Kombat forgoes innovation and instead focuses on perfecting what people love about it. The characters and stages all look amazing, fleshed out with minute details in three glorious dimensions, but the combat is strictly two dimensional. The matches are all extremely reliant on special moves, and learning their distances, timings, and combos is critical. Whether you think this is a good thing or a bad thing, it really does feel as if you’re playing a tarted up MK3. For the record, that’s a good thing. The one noticeable addition to the fight mechanic is a power meter at the bottom of the screen for each character. It has three segments allowing you to perform enhanced specials, combo breakers, and the aforementioned X-ray moves, and it’s utterly pointless. The reason being that there is absolutely no point in using up some of your meter to charge a fireball when you could use it to break your opponents clavicle and remove their spleen in slow motion, taking about a quarter of their health away in the process. In fact, if you use your meter up for anything other than an X-ray move, you may as well just quite the match.

I mentioned Street Fighter 4 earlier, and it’s easy to see where Mortal Kombat has gotten quite a lot of inspiration. Casting itself back to the game–play of its heyday, classic characters rendered beautifully with modern tech, and it’s now even got its own super meter, but one thing MK does bring to the table is content. Along with the classic ladder mode, there’s a fully fleshed out and ridiculously cheesy story mode, an absolutely behemoth challenge tower, and a “krypt” containing more secrets than a government spy with anterograde amnesia. It’s nice to come across a fighting game that’s had as much effort put into its single player lifespan as it multi-player appeal.

If I had to summarise Mortal Kombat, and I do, I’d say that it’s a good fighter with loads to do, massive nostalgia value, and a great laugh with a few mates. It is very, very stupid, and that just seems to add to the fun. Halfway through the game you’ll be wondering how Sonya gets away with showing up to work as an officer in the Special Forces wearing nothing but a vest jacket with no bra. Then you’ll realise that she can jump to her feet after having her knees broken and scissor kick a grown man in half, so realism isn’t really a focus here. Get a few beers in and this game will do you and your friends proud, just remember to brace yourself if anyone starts getting a little too handy with Noob Saibot.

By Partick Whitton

1984 follows the life of Winston Smith, an everyman hero plodding along through his miserable life. He’s intelligent enough to know that there’s something wrong with the strictly repressive environment he lives in, and sly enough to keep himself alive despite this. He often muses that he’s the last man in the world still possessing his own thoughts and opinions, the last man that remembers the past and doubts The Party. Winston works at the Ministry of Truth, or Minitrue in Newspeak, and it’s here that we first get a glimpse of how monstrously pervasive society has become in the year 1984. Winston’s job is to censor all known literature, so that everything from Shakespeare to old copies of The Beano express opinions concurrent with those of Big Brother. If The Party states, for instance, that the helicopter was invented by Big Brother in 1910, than every document saying otherwise is collected, re-written, and then incinerated until the new statement can never be proven false. Likewise, if anyone is discovered to be a dissenter in any way, they not only disappear, but every physical trace of them having ever existed is destroyed. They become an unperson, not only are they dead, they have never lived.

Under these circumstances Winston meets Julia, beginning their lurid love affair. We won’t dwell too much on the romantic side of 1984, this is primarily a social commentary, not a romantic one, but there are some immensely touching passages. Orwell focuses on the ability of intimacy to provide a shelter from the harshness of the world, no matter how disastrous the situation. Time and time again Winston and Julia find solace in a glance, a secret encounter, or a hidden message that makes them believe everything will be all right. As twee as this may sound, in the world of 1984, the love of two people for one another is the strongest form of rebellion possible, putting all The Party propaganda to the lie.

It’s hard to overstate the effect of 1984 on modern culture. There are ideas and themes from this novel still being popularised today, not to mention our vary vocabulary. It’s extremely difficult to describe this book without using the word “Orwellian”, a term not only defining the novel, but defined by it. Big Brother is still a buzzword for oppressive governance despite the terrible television program. Newspeak is actively used by governments and companies to mould the public mindset. Doublethink, goodthinker, and duckspeak have all been absorbed or altered as political jargon. Memory holes are still a means to dispose of inconvenient facts, metaphorically and otherwise. It would be naive to think that these things exist because of George Orwell, but he’s the one who named them, and you could argue that he’s the reason we’re wary of them.

The most important reason to read 1984 is that it will make you think twice about the world you live in. You may start questioning some things you took at face value before. Orwell’s lengthy and detailed descriptions of Newspeak, a new language developed by the ruling party to control expression, hits extremely close to home on some days. We’ve all worked with corporate bollocks, and the next time you’re told that “they’re not customers, they’re guests” or “we’re not staff, we’re team players” you’ll realise that trying to change the way people think by changing their vocabulary is more commonplace than you’d have thought. If you can’t believe that an organisation would repress and pervert the sexual instinct in order to control a population, I’d direct your attention to the Vatican. If you think that the Two Minutes Hate, a method of vilifying an enemy you’re never likely to meet, is a fantasy too evil to exist, than you must have never seen a Fox News broadcast. Newspeak, propaganda, and censorship are tools used by every government. They may not always be sinister in nature, but it’s a good idea to be able to identify them.

We recommend 1984 for a variety of reasons. It’s a compelling tale of survival, a moving account of two people in love, and a fascinating examination of society in general, but most importantly, it’s a warning. “Here is a society that is completely evil”, says Orwell, “these are the ways it can exist, and the ways it can come about. Don’t let this happen”. Overwrought? Perhaps, but Orwell’s nightmare was of a society under constant surveillance, and the last estimate we saw put the number of CCTV cameras in England at over four million.

By Patrick Whitton