Relationships – Its All About the Girl/ Guy Balance!
As a single mother Talia Santo has often wondered why the relationships she’s had haven’t lasted the long haul. A firm believer in learning from her past mistakes and moving forward, Miss Santo is sharing some sage advice to help make your relationship future stronger than your relationship past.
I recently attended a seminar by Dr John Gray author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Some of the discussions really struck a cord with me which lead me to do a little thinking about what might have gone wrong with the men in my past. More to the point I thought about where I had gone wrong. Not that I’m blaming myself for every row or misdemeanour but I believe we hold the key to our own personal change. We can only have control over ourselves in any situation which. So in any situation its good to look at your own behaviour and what you can do better next time!
At the seminar I learnt that the average man is 70% masculine and 30% feminine and the average woman is 70% feminine and 30% masculine. The main feminine traits are being emotional, beautiful, nurturing, soft and passive. Masculine traits are more along the lines of strength, being protective, the provider and in charge. Both sexes flit between their masculine and feminine sides in different circumstances. It’s not a hundred percent given (some guys and girls will lean a little more in either direction) but the average norm is a 70/30 balance.
It is important to look at ourselves to see what the balance is in our own personality, whether we are acting more from our feminine or masculine side because this is an indication of the people we are attracting and are attracted to as we are naturally drawn to those who can equal the balance within us.
If a man is living from more of his feminine part he will naturally be attracted to a strong woman who lives more from her masculine part. And if a woman lives from her feminine part she will naturally be attracted to a strong masculine man.
As a single mother I have to play the roles dad too. As I have a son the importance of demonstrating boisterous traits is even more desired (he is a very energetic boy!) I’ve realised I live more from my masculine part – I am the sole provider and protector in the home. It is essential in the healthy running of my family unit that I am in control of the household which would explain why the men in my past have leaned on me to provide and take charge. But this always eventually leads to me getting exhausted and feeling that something is missing in my relationships. Deep down all I really long for is a man to whisk me off my feet and take some of the weight off my shoulders!
Although I acted strong and independent on the outside (because I had to as a single mother) on the inside I am a soft and emotional woman in need of a strong and protective man.
It would seem that a healthy balance would be for a man to be more masculine and a woman feminine. Now I know that this is the winning formula that I’m personally seeking, I am trying to boost my feminine side in order to attract the right guy.
But what do you want? Guys do you prefer your lady all soft, girlie and in need of protection? Ladies, do you want a strong alpha male to bring home the bacon and carry you to the bedroom over his shoulders? Leave your comments and let’s get the debate going!
By Tailia Santo
